This year’s final official Pride Month (EXTRA!) interview is with actor/writer/director (and my nephew) Sam Lant:
Hi, Sam! I hope you’re staying safe and healthy during current events. What are you doing to stay creatively motivated in these unusual times?
Mostly I’ve taken things slow and allowed myself to use the time as a break. When the pandemic started, I saw a post that said something along the lines of don’t pressure yourself to make the next great work of art during the lock downs and honestly that was really freeing. Taking the time to just take care of my plants, hang out with my dog, and watch some movies has renewed my creative motivation and changed my perspective of what impact I want to have on the world.
You now identify as non-binary, but you’ve had quite a journey from confused kid to accepting who you are. Instead of a specific question, I’m going to just ask you to talk about that journey a bit.
I grew up very self-conscious about my body and my sexuality. Coming from a small town I didn’t get the exposure to the amazing LGBTQ+ community in Los Angeles my late teen years. I had no clue that there was more to sexuality and gender than Lesbian, Gay or Straight. As I grew up, and I expressed more interest in things that fell out of the stereotypical norm for straight boys, I started realizing that I wasn’t a straight male. Without understanding gender and having a very limited knowledge on sexuality I just assumed well I must be gay. The older I got though the more I realized that that assumption I made was ridiculous because I never once had been romantically attracted to a guy. At that point, I thought I was broken. I wasn’t gay, but I didn’t feel like I was a straight male either. For a long time I was constantly at battle with myself hating my body, hating myself for wanting to wear make-up like my female friends, and feeling like I had to hide from the world. It wasn’t until I was a teenager that I was exposed a more well-rounded LGBTQ+ community and I realized that all the self-conscious feelings about my body and discomfort around it was due to gender and what I was experiencing was dysphoria. I learned about the transgender community, read about trans people’s experiences, and realized so much of my life made sense. I felt like I had figured out what had been haunting me my whole life; but was still terrified about the idea of telling friends or family. So, I still hid from the world. I did my make-up in secret and snuck my female identity into small accessories like rocking hot pink sunglasses. Eventually I got more confident and I came out to a few people but always would immediately go back into hiding myself again. It wasn’t until I was 18 or 19 that I found a great group of friends that were confident in their sexualities and genders which gave me the confidence to start wearing makeup and feminine clothing around them. The uncomfortable feelings I felt whenever I looked in the mirror started to fade away, the more confident I got the more traditionally female clothing and makeup I wore. After a while though, again, I started to feel discomfort and like I was still missing a big part of myself. I couldn’t understand it and I felt awful. It was like a was a kid again just lost and confused about who I was. I fell back into depression and self-hate. I thought I was a fraud for a while. Eventually I just had to say “fuck it.” I’m myself, I’m who I want to be. I don’t fall into any category perfectly, I don’t perfectly fit the ideal male image and I don’t perfectly fit the ideal female image, but that’s perfectly okay. For the longest time I was basing myself on what society deemed to be masculine and feminine and letting my personal identity be determined by how I dressed. For the first time I felt completely free of dysphoria and any self-hate. Instead of dressing a certain way because society deemed those clothes more female or male, I started dressing in clothes that I deemed an expression of who I am. For some people gender and sexuality fall into categories perfectly, but for me sexuality and gender are nonbinary. I fall into multiple categories and am full of wonderful contradictions that make me uniquely myself.
Of course, since June is Pride Month, I have to ask: how has being non-binary influenced or informed your acting and your interest in writing/directing? And is it at all different from when you started acting?
When I was younger, I was scared that if I let people know I was LGBTQ+ that I would limit myself to the roles I could play. I didn’t want people to see me and think he can only play the nonbinary characters or the trans characters. Now I realize that I don’t want to work with people who are going to cast me based on gender, so I’m much more open about who I am. I’ve also realized that I’m very critical of myself and would love to start letting myself be uninhibited by my criticisms when acting much like I had to stop over criticizing my identity. With directing, writing and acting I’d like to start making films that have characters as unique and wonderful as my friends I’ve made. My friends all have wonderful identities that showcase the beauty of gender and sexuality that if I could make characters even half as well rounded and amazing as them, I’d be happy.
What inspires you?
My mom’s work ethic, she works so hard despite having so much struggle in her life. My friends confidence and attitude toward life even when things got tough during the pandemic. My dog’s ability to be happy and wag her tail over the smallest things in life. Film wise I’m a huge fan of Kevin Smith, I think Chasing Amy is an amazing film. I also love Tarantino. For TV/Film... I’m a huge fan of Stranger Things, Scream, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and The Graduate.
What does your creative process look like?
Oh gosh, controlled chaos? I don’t necessarily have a set process, I have a lot of tools for acting, writing, and directing but not every project calls for every tool so there isn’t really a set in stone way I do things. Its more about letting things come naturally to what make sense within a scene.
What are you working on now? Do you have anything coming out that you’re allowed to announce yet?
Right now, I’m mostly working on not catching covid-19, I have asthma and my lungs are just trash so staying home and staying healthy is my main focus. I have a few projects filmed before lockdown that I can’t announce yet, but as soon as they get finished and I get the okay to talk about them I’ll let you know.
And finally, where can people find you and your work online?
I am currently not really using social media. I don’t feel it is being used for the greater good. I don’t believe it is being used as intended and it is having negative impacts on our lives. So, I guess you can check out to my IMDB ... all the projects are updated as I am able to announce them. https://www.imdb.com/name/nm3137618/
Sam Lant is actor/screenwriter/director living in Burbank, CA. Most known for his role of Dave the teenage party crasher in the cult classic Project X, he can also be seen in various independent films and on Fox’s Last Man Standing. He is currently attending college to earn a degree in directing with hopes to make thought provoking artistic films. He loves food, flying squirrel onesies, unplanned adventures, playing video games, and his dog Harmony.