Today’s Pride Month (EXTRA!) Interview is with former police officer and current private investigator Bernadette Gambino:
Bernadette Gambino (left) and business partner AnGèle Cade
Hi, Bernadette! I hope you’re staying safe and healthy during current events. What are you doing to stay creatively motivated in these unusual times?
Wow, that is tough! I have been working on a few projects. One is a musical, where I am Executive Producer. It is called Empty Hands, which is the English translation of Karate. It is about bullying. A sort of cross between High School Musical meets Karate Kid.
Retired police officer, actor, business owner, CEO, athlete, parent, grandparent, life coach and private investigator. Since June is Pride Month, I have to ask: how has being lesbian influenced or informed your very varied career path?
I came out late in life. I was about 25 years old in 1990 when it hit me that I was gay. When I say hit, I mean jumping off a cliff about a thousand feet high and hitting the ground. I was suicidal. Picture this… I just graduated from the Sheriff’s academy and would sit on my couch with my revolver and my 18 month old daughter asleep in the next room. It was a very traumatic time not to mention my counselor said not to come out at work because the Sheriff’s department was still firing people up until 1988. Also, my very Catholic parents did not react very well.
As I grew older and through meeting my late wife, I grew to love all of me and recognized that God chose this path for me and now I honor that! For me, it’s not about being a lesbian that defines me but learning to love me who happens to be gay…if that makes sense.
It wasn’t that long ago that it was difficult to be openly gay or lesbian and be a police officer. I’d be interested in hearing your experiences while on the force.
I stayed in the closet a long time. Even when I got together with my late wife in 2002 and wore this beautiful diamond ring she gave me, I still pretended it was from a guy. It took a long while for me to love me enough to be in a position that I didn’t care what others though of me.
I know there were those who spoke behind my back or said things that were homophobic. I came to realize it was their problem not mine. My late wife, Mona Miller, showed me and taught me about loving all of who I am without judgement or shame. It took some time, but eventually I came out and embraced that part of my life without fear of who I was or fear of other’ judgement of me.
I’d also be remiss, given everything that’s going on recently, if I didn’t ask for your take as a retired officer on the nationwide systemic problems when it comes to police and minority populations.
I believe some of the issues we face as a nation and the issues Law Enforcement faces with the general public and people of color is self- induced. Yes, there are very racist Police Officers who take advantage of the power coupled with their own egos to prey on minority communities, but we also have to be careful not to dismiss the Law Enforcement Officers, of all races and colors, who are an example to the profession and to the communities they serve. A knee jerk reaction to the current climate is like throwing the baby out with the bath water.
If Law Enforcement agencies took a more proactive approach to community policing….. if the good citizens of the various communities worked in conjunction with their local law enforcement…if problem officers were held accountable sooner… and I can go on. We are facing a multi-faceted problem that requires a multi-faceted solution. It cannot be a one size fits all solution because most of the time there are too many variables.
You’ve recently started up a private investigations firm. What inspired you to move into that sphere?
After I retired, I was asked so many times to conduct or assist in a variety of investigations. I finally decided to open my own firm. In addition, I am a full-service private security firm as well. We have some very interesting specialties. You can check out my website: eipainc.com
You’re a mother and grandmother. Kids today are facing possibly more pressure socially, academically, and in the virtual online world, than ever before. Teen and pre-teen suicide seems to continually be on the rise. What advice do you have for coping with those stresses, and especially those dealing with the added stress of being LGBTQIA in a world that professes acceptance but often acts just the opposite?
Having been in that queue I know that self love without judgement played a significant role in my survival. Learning to love one’s self in spite of the damaging world around us is a journey filled with lots of peaks and valleys but when truth becomes the paramount goal it can change everything. BELIEF IS STRONGER THAN TRUTH UNLESS YOU BELIEVE IN THE TRUTH. We will create from that which we believe…..what we believe about ourselves. We can only change ourselves and when we search for self love we find empowerment. It is in that empowerment that we can combat the judgement and hate from others. A miracle is a change of perception. When we work on ourselves from the inside out, find our own self love, leave judgement and fear at the door, others can’t hurt us. Is it an easy task….HELL NO! But definitely a worthwhile one!
In my life coaching business, it is issues such as these that are my specialty. I help people get out of their own way so they can find the person they were intended to be, not the circumstances of their life that made them!
And finally, where can people find you and your work online?
My life coaching website is: Communicationartscompany.com or they can email me at:
bernadettegambinocomart@aol.com
My private investigation and security business website is: eipainc.com or they can email me at
Executive coach Bernadette Gambino of Communication Arts Company and business consultant AnGèle Cade of Executive On the Go joined forces this year to create Empowering the Business of YOU—presenting conferences and one-on-one coaching to help women who feel stuck, frustrated and unfulfilled. Bernadette has more than 25 years of experience in mentoring, coaching and counseling individuals to help them achieve their goals. For nearly 20 years, AnGèle Cade has counseled more than 15,000 entrepreneurs across the country on starting or fixing their businesses.