Rambling On

Anthony R. Cardno's Fiction and Commentary


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“Tuckerization” is the act of using an actual person’s name in an otherwise fictional story, usually as an in-joke or an homage. Sometimes it’s an inanimate object or a bit-character, sometimes it’s a secondary or leading role. Science Fiction and fantasy authors are known to auction off tuckerizations to raise money for charities. I must be doing something right in life, because I’ve been tuckerized a number of times. Here’s where you can find them:

THE RETURNING, Book Two of The Davi Rhii Saga, by Bryan Thomas Schmidt, in which my Twitter handle “Talekyn” is given to a planetary moon.

Something horrible goes down on Cardno Avenue in SINS OF THE LOST, the 3rd book in Linda Poitevin’s fantastic “Grigori Legacy” series.

CURA TE IPSUM: I’ve been introduced as a gun-toting bas-ass security chief of an underground lair on a post-apocalyptic Earth. I think. Some or all of that could be wrong, except for the part where the guy with the glasses and the beret and the attitude is me. This links to the first page I appear on. Only writer Neal Bailey and artist Dexter Wee know what my character is really up to.


A collection of stories & songs in which I have been Tuckerized, THE MANY TORTURES OF ANTHONY CARDNO, is now available from Amazon. All proceeds go to the American Cancer Society. Contents include all of the following:

“The Hand of God (A Davi Rhii Story) by Bryan Thomas Schmidt continues my appearances in Schmidt’s work — this time as a space freight hauler under siege by a pirate known as The Hand of God.

Temperance, ” by Christie Yant, in the first issue of FIRESIDE magazine, in which I’m a drunk who pukes into an open grave before meeting a ghostly girl. I won this as part of my Kickstarter pledge to support the first issue of the magazine.

Scarred,” by Damien W. Grintalis, in the second issue of FIRESIDE magazine, in which I’m married to a woman with old scars she’s trying to put behind her. I won this as part of my Kickstarter pledge to support the second issue of the magazine.

“The White Phoenix Feather,” by Mary Robinette Kowal, in the third issue of FIRESIDE magazine, in which I am an obnxiously classless famous actor attempting to take part in “extreme dining,” a new sport in the future. Things of course do not go well. I won this as part of my Kickstarter pledge to support the third issue of the magazine. Sadly, the website doesn’t have the third issue contents listed yet.

“The Brutal and the Simple,” by Adam P. Knave, my first appearance in a western! When the four-person crew digging the future Cardno Coal Mine find gold, all hell breaks loose.  I won this as part of my Kickstarter pledge to support year two of the magazine. You can learn more about the current status of Fireside here.

Anthony,” a song by young Australian singer Frank Dixon, who I’ve interviewed. He didn’t really write this song with me in mind, but as I’m apparently the only Anthony he actually knows, I’m counting it.

The Ballad of Anthony Cardno,” a song actually written about the real me by some of my closest friends as part of Barry Mangione’s Barry on the Spot weekly collaborative song-writing webcast, Tuesday nights at 9pm Eastern Time.

“Anthony Takes The Stairs,” by Eric S. Bauman.  A low-level corporate drone has a Twilight Zone-like experience while trying to avoid joining his co-workers in the elevator on their way to a meeting.

“The Antics of Anton Ardno (A Todd Gleason Crime Story)” by Joseph Pittman.  Con-man extraordinaire Todd Gleason must imitate Anton Ardno to unravel a real estate scheme gone bad.

“I Have A Question” by Neal Bailey.  In which I am a normally patient patient at a doctor’s office who finally becomes un-patient.

“The Bar at the End of the World” by Sabrina Vourvoulias.  In what might be the closest version of me in the book, UN troubleshooter Anthony Cardno finds love and monsters in Central America.

“With a Flick of the Wrist” by Michelle Moklebust.  Part of Michelle’s “Chosen” series of short stories. I’m a necromancer with bad posture and an even worse attitude.

“The Old Suit” by Bear Weiter.  You can’t judge a book by its cover, nor an Anthony Cardno by his suit.

“The Optimist” by Kaaron Warren.   If the death penalty is off the table, how do we punish the truly bad? A serial killer gets a new lease on life… or does he?

“The Story Teller” by Dennis R. Miller.    The children of a small town, including one Anthony Cardno, are captivated by the stories of a roving storyteller named Uncle Jessup. But the adults are not quite so accepting.

“When The Waters Recede” by Day al-Mohamed.   A post-Apocalyptic tale of family far away.

“The Chase” by Jen Ryan.  The only story in the collection in which I am gender-swapped. But not the only story in which I encounter zombies.

“Three on a Match” by Steve Berman.  A haunting tale of a college one-night-stand with just a hint of “sleeping beauty” added in.

“The Zombie Shortage” by David Lee Summers.   In which I am a mad scientist. Not angry, mind you. Just a bit on edge.

“With Dust Their Glittering Towers: A Fly-Leaves Story” by Christopher Paul Carey.   In the first of what I hope will be many Fly-Leaves stories to come, Carey’s protagonist meets a mysterious man with my name.

“Cold Statues” by Jay Lake.  One of the last stories Jay wrote before his untimely death from colon cancer just before his 50th birthday, which just makes this story about family loss and finding closure that much more poignant. Jay gets credit for working just about every one of my nicknames into the story as a character or place.


  1. Eric Said,

    Speaking of tuckerizations, when’s that book coming out?

  2. Hector Said,

    I will toss in a bid for $101. Kind of a slippery e-bay stunt but I doubt it will keep me ahead for long. Anyway, its a for good cause and I’m aldarey starting my training with bench pressing a Conan size cudgel.

  3. admin Said,

    Hector, I’m not really sure what you’re offering $101 for. Sorry. But good luck with the cudgel-training!

  4. admin Said,

    Hector, I’m not really sure what you’re offering/asking. Sorry.

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