Rambling On

Anthony R. Cardno's Fiction and Commentary

This week got away from me. I’d planned on Wednesday to post the first of a series of email interviews I’ve been conducting with writers, musicians and artists (this one with Evelyn Lafont, author of THE VAMPIRE RELATIONSHIP GUIDE, Vol. 1) but migraines and work stress got the best of me throughout the week.  I’d considered posting the interview tonight, but something else has happened that I want to write about.

I had a great night out with friends, but came home to the news that yet another of my oldest friends has succumbed to cancer. Had a feeling the news was coming because her husband posted something on her Facebook yesterday (her birthday) about he and her mother sitting with her as she peacefully “approaches the next passage in her life.”  That could have been read any number of ways, but it was feeling all too much like what turned out to be the end for our friend Karen just a few years ago.  What hurts is that Karen and Kris were bestest friends in high school, and to have them both leave us essentially the same way so few years apart stings.

So yeah. I’m feeling better than I was two hours ago when I got the news, but …. fuck cancer. Just fuck it.  I’m sick of it hurting my loved ones, of taking them from us too early. Karen and Kris were two of the most beautiful souls I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. We fell out of touch, then fell back into it thanks to Livejournal (in Karen’s case) and Facebook (in Kris’). I managed to have good reunion time with Karen before she left us, but never got that chance to see Kris face to face. Another regret.  I’m angry, and I’m crying. And then I’m laughing at the memories. And then back to angry again. I suspect sleep tonight will be rough (considering it’s already 2:30 am).

And of course I don’t hate cancer just because of its effect on my family and immediate friends. I hate it for what it’s doing to [info]jaylake , who is a hero of mine for his cancer battle and his fantastic writing, and for how it took the beautiful Lis Sladen (of Doctor Who) from her family and her fans so early. And for how pervasive it has become across all social strata, taking so many every day regardless of whether are famous or not, rich or poor.

So.  Another name to add to my List of Those I Walk For come my June Relay For Life in Mahopac. Another person to think of as I’m taking my laps, and to remember fondly our good times at the very school where the Relay takes place. I will walk at least one lap carrying Kris on one side of me and Karen on the other. They supported me and put up with me when I was at my least-perfect, and their memory will carry me around the track in June.

And in honor of Karen and Kris, and Jay, and Lis, and everyone else I walk for, I going to make my first official plea this year for donations to my American Cancer Society Relay For Life event, June 5-6 at Mahopac High School in Mahopac NY.  I will be at the event, and I will be selling copies of my book THE FIRFLAKE to raise money. If you’re in the area, please come by and say Hi.

If you’re not in the area, you can make a donation to my effort (and thus, to my team and to the ACS) by clicking on this link: www.tinyurl.com/My2011Relay or by copy-pasting into your web-browser address bar if the link is not clickable when you look.  Any donation is helpful.  If you donate, please leave me a comment to let me know who you’d like me to walk in honor or memory of. That part is as important to me as the money is.

And if any of the writers or musicians I know want to donate copies of their books or cds to be sold at the event to raise money, please contact me!



  1. Eric Said,

    I had the same prickly feeling in the back of my neck and head when I read Matt’s post on Kris’ page–although I came into it a little late, so I don’t know all of the details (the end result is enough).

    I pledge to pledge to the Relay again this year. Since it isn’t until June, I will wait to officially put up the money. I should be getting some financial aid money in mid-May, so after that, I’ll go pay up.

    I have way too many names to add to the list. Actually, you and I share quite a few of them from school and, with us being brothers, from our families.

  2. Linda Said,

    Sorry to hear this, Anthony. *hugs* ♥

  3. Anthony Said,

    Thank you, Linda. Hope you’re well! I haven’t been good at keeping in touch lately…

  4. Rambling On » Blog Archive » Relay For Life Said,

    […] few weeks back I talked about losing yet another friend to cancer and mentioned my annual ACS Relay For Life […]

  5. Tori Owen Said,

    Anthony, I realise this is an ols post but I have just recieved the link to your web page and have read some of your trials (as well as your friends) of cancer. As you know I have a 17 year old daughter who was diagnosed with bladder cancer this summer (2012). I have been blessed to have this beautiful child in my life and now am facing my fears of loss and pain , worry ,and anger.
    Deven is a twin whos siter passed away at the age of two and a half months. Danielle passed away from SIDS and has been cherished throughout my every day.
    This cancer , this black hole of evil, has brought more fears to my life that i thought I had dealt with over the years. I hear people tell me She (Deven) will get throught this. At first thought I want to look at these people and say how dare you tell me what will happen… I have lost already and you could never tell me it couldnt happen again! But alast, I smile polietly and nod my head in hopes they are right.
    My faith has been shaken upside down back and fourth and barried deep. I have now come into my spirtuality and have my personal beliefs . After all heaven is what you want it to be right? lol.
    I go throught this experience with the relieving thoughts that God has put me through my test of strength and this is now my daughters time. I will be here to guide ,hold ,love and comfort as much as she needs. I will try to answer her why me questions best I can. And I will just simply LISTEN.
    I am greatful for people who blog to allow other into there lives as a guidence as a go to and as a reference.My daughter is impressed with your strength Anthony, so thank you for being a possitive influence on her as I am sure others.
    My sympothies to your friend who is fighting a difficult battle right now. I wish nothing but peace for your friend through there struggle.

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